superevilzacky:

hallowed—be-thy-name:

if you don’t make fun of your favourite band then it’s not your favourite band

flurle:

ejacutastic:

i have childhood memories that i am not 100% sure actually happened or if i dreamed them i really do not know

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TEXT POST ALL MY LIFE

shampoo:

how do i achieve immortality and perfect eyebrows

spork:

It’s called an ORgasm, not an ANDgasm. We’ll get you next time babe…

netflixz:

driving past your old elementary school likeimage

thedevilstongue:

defekait:

if we are spooning and I arch my butt into you there is a 1000% chance I don’t actually have to stretch and that I just want to feel your boner

Fact